When to tell family you’re pregnant can be just as important as how you tell someone you’re pregnant.
Timing can be everything. What is right for you might not make sense for someone else. It all depends on you, your husband (or significant other), your family, and the circumstances surrounding your pregnancy.
Here is my best advice on what to consider when telling family you’re pregnant so your timing is perfect for you. Additionally, I will share ways on how to tell your family you’re pregnant to make it more memorable and meaningful.
When to tell your husband you’re pregnant?
I think it is important to tell your husband first and well before family and friends. This gives you two time to relish, celebrate and enjoy the good news yourselves before you share it with the world.
Whether you decide to tell him right away or wait a little to plan a fun surprise, here are some things to consider.
Tell him right away
I told my husband right away because that felt right to me. Honestly, having him find out with me made the moment so much more special for me because I got to share it with someone.
While we were trying, he was just as excited to know as me. I took the test and we waited together to find out.
What I loved about this was that when the test was negative, he was there to be sad with me. When the test was positive, he was also there to share in that special moment.
Tell your husband early to get support
No matter what you decide, I would tell your other half sooner than later. This way you have someone to support you through initial morning sickness or just the swing of emotions that can come from all of this.
Additionally, miscarriages are most common in that first trimester. I would have wanted my husband to know so I would have the emotional support from him.
Wait to tell husband you’re pregnant
If you want to find out first, then you have to decide when to tell your husband.
A growing trend is pregnancy announcements for husband, and some are just plain brilliance. It can be a keepsake or just a cute little way to surprise him over morning coffee. There are so many fun cards that are everything from sweet to hilarious.
Since that first trimester can be such an exhaustive nauseating one, I would tell him sooner than later. I would aim for one week from finding out. This gives you time to figure it out but hopefully before he starts guessing it from the wine you keep passing up on.
Additionally, there are so many things to do and plan during pregnancy like how to tell the rest of your family and finding a provider.
When to tell family you’re pregnant?
Since when to tell family about your pregnancy is such a personal decision it was helpful for me to play out different scenarios in my head of how I would feel if x, y or z happened. Here are some thoughts on miscarriage, family dynamics and other circumstances surrounding your pregnancy.
When is it safe to tell family you’re pregnant?
By safe, I mean when the risk of miscarriage decreases significantly. According to Healthline, most miscarriages occur in the first trimester which ends at 13 weeks and “10-15% of known pregnancies end in miscarriages”.
Telling family during the first trimester
I know some women who have had a miscarriage. The next time they were pregnant, they waited to tell anyone until 13 weeks when the risk for a miscarriage decreases significantly.
For me, I think I would ONLY want to go through all of that with my significant other.
Waiting to tell family after the first trimester
Some choose to tell all of their family before 13 weeks. They might share the good news with everyone right away. I think this choice has a lot to do with how close you are with your family and the type of person you are. For some, if they do miscarry, then they want their family to know because it is helpful to them in the grieving process.
Are you okay with family telling others you’re pregnant?
You might decide you want to share with your family but not want to share with the world yet. Can your family respect your wishes if you ask them to not share outside of the family yet? Will they respect your wishes to not post to social media yet? This might factor into the order you tell family.
For instance, if you know one set of grandparents-to-be are going to have a hard time not sharing the news, then maybe it’s best to tell the other set first.
Wait to tell family until you are not sick
Wait to tell family until you have your first ultrasound
Sometimes it is a lot of fun to include an ultrasound when you tell family or include it as part of a gift.
Decide if telling family in person is important
We don’t live near our family and wanted to tell them in person. Our family doesn’t live close by, so we needed to plan on telling them with a trip. If the trip can’t be before you start showing, then surprise them with your bump in a fun pregnancy shirt.
Instead, you might want to tell them before you visit so you can save your trip for the baby shower. You could mail them something such as a pregnancy announcement for grandparents and tell them they can only open it with you on Zoom. That way you still get to be part of the moment and make it special without being there.
Tell family on a special occasion
There are so many awesome ideas out there on how to share the news. My favorite idea is to share the big news during a holiday. It is easier to get everyone together without suspicion.
For instance, at Thanksgiving if you all say what you are thankful for at the table, then you can say you are thankful for this baby. Holidays also give you the perfect opportunity to easily include a sibling with an adorable big brother pregnancy announcement or a big sister pregnancy announcement.
At Christmas, you can get the grandparents a Christmas ornament of the ultrasound or a grandparent ornament, a coffee mug or a baby onesie.
If it is Halloween, then throw a Halloween party and wear a pregnant Halloween costume.
Tell family at a birthday party
Another fun occasion to tell family you’re pregnant is at a birthday. However, I would stick with a grandparent to be, your birthday or your husband’s birthday. Anyone else’s birthday, it might not go over well. The person could feel upstaged.
If you, your significant other or a grandparent-to-be has a birthday coming up, then throw a party. You can wrap a cute onesie and open it in front of everyone.
Tell family at a wedding
A good friend of mine got engaged at her best friend’s wedding reception. Instead of throwing the bouquet of flowers, she turned around and gave it to her friend. Her fiancé then proposed. Obviously, this was cleared by the bride ahead of time.
Telling all of your family at a wedding if a sibling is getting married could be really awesome but only do this if you have a go ahead from the bride.
Lastly, be ready for the questions
And the moment you tell people, everyone will want to know everything!
I have found through experience that discussing these with your husband before telling family allows you to both be on the same page about your pregnancy. Here are some questions you might get asked:
- What is your due date?
- Are you going to find out the gender?
- Are you going to tell people the gender before giving birth?
- Do you want a boy or a girl?
- Are you going to have a baby shower?
- Do you have any names picked out?
- Are you going to share baby’s name before giving birth?
- Can I tell people you’re pregnant on social media?
When to tell family you’re pregnant?
Pregnancy is filled with so many decisions and every person should decide what’s right for them. Hopefully by sharing my thoughts on when to tell family you’re pregnant, I have helped you decide what is best for you.
Once you find out, telling your husband can help you get through the morning sickness of that first trimester. It also gives you some emotional support especially if you have a miscarriage.
Some women then decide to wait to tell family until it is safe and they are past the 13 week mark. When to tell family comes down to your pregnancy timeline.
You might decide to tell family at a holiday or a special occasion if the timing works. How far away you live from family can also factor on when you tell them.
Lastly, know there is no right or wrong time to tell family and it all comes down to when is it right for you.
When did you tell family you’re pregnant? Please share your thoughts below in comments!